To tell you the truth . . .

. . . this whole looking for a new church home thing is really getting to me.

We like Gloria Dei, but it pretty far away.

We visited a church right beside our house yesterday. It is one we have visited before. It would be convenient, but Scott and I both know it is not what we're looking for.

I don't want to go to church because I feel guilty for not going. I don't want to go just because it is good for the kids.

I want a community. I don't want to be anonymous.

So I have been asking myself a lot, what is church? What is its function in society? What is it supposed to look like? What is it supposed to be? Do you have to wear dresses? How much of it is cultural? How much of it is tradition? Is there a balance? Who is the church? How is the church supposed to act? Do you have to meet in a big building? Does the church have to have twelve really good programs?

All of these questions, because I do not want to trade one church experience for another, do you know what I mean?

I miss Strawberry Community Church and First Baptist Church of Winterset so much. I miss those churches because we were a family. I miss those churches because the people were so real. I am longing for real relationships right now, and not for a community full of busy people. I know I am whining and I sound very judgmental. Sorry. I just remember the authenticity of those places, and I miss it.

That's enough for now.